…but the thing is–they don't.

Your time

​I wish 

I could be

on the other 

side

with you-

my eyes 

touching

your skin.

Your time

so precious

to you

to me

I need it

to be. 

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Dry smile

​I’m lying on the bed

Staring at the fan

The sunlight is too dry

The clock says one

And the sky’s white

Tired of binge watching shows

I lie here quietly

The ceiling’s an old friend

The biscuit box is empty

I slept for 11 hours

Yet I lie here and think

Of things to do

None around

To listen

To my jokes

And laugh with me

While having lemonade

For more than a minute

So I call you up

And smile and giggle

In a different reality

And on returning 

I’m left with

All the energy

But very little will

To do anything

On my list

So I dance 

The time

And the extra space

Away.

Be here

I hate being alone
In this crowded place
I miss you so much
I wish you’d be here
Holding my hand right now
And then embrace me
Listen to my troubles
Be beside me
All through the night
In the airy room
With the starlight
Flowing in.
Then you say
A solution and a joke
To make me
Feel alright

Lifting us up

What should I do
besides trying my best
to save you from falling.
I stare at the wire
On the ground
I stare outside the window.
You want me to smile
I’m not frowning either
I’m wondering
what I could have done
and can do
to support you
and us,
and to bring us
to the peace
we’re looking for
all around.

Dressed and deserted

She walked down the dark road
the ribbon securing her hair
her hand clutched at
the last few traces
of her self confidence
which she dragged down the street.
She wore the ribbon
cause he liked it.
She kept her confidence
in a box in the attic
cause it was clear
he didn’t like it. (what?)
and on it went
until she could not
find herself
The dark road circled back
to their house
she did not know why
she could not
choose the road out.

Perfection

It is amazing
like observing a bird fly
in slow motion
so close
I never knew
someone could love me
this strong
and as pure as the time
when sunlight first touches
earth in a day
maybe that is what I couldn’t imagine
because everything’s
too good to be true
but here you are with me
giving me all
the strength in the world
and holding my hand
across this distance
and honey, you proved it
that for us
distance is nothing
but a stupid number
with a unit.

Screams

Songs, posters, nothing makes sense
dormant sources of strength
I want to scream throughout the night
yet no one would be able to hear.
I so feel I should talk to others
but that would lead me nowhere;
now I sit here all by myself
trembling in this known world.

Animated

A drop of a thought of you brightens my day –

Reminiscing the time spent with you

cheers me up even when you’re far away.

It’s true that times are difficult and stakes are high

but my life is so animated, now that I know you

because the ghosts in my dreams have been replaced

by pirate rabbits, penguins, and cats.

(10 Feb ’16)

Forever

From where we stood

we could see the trees,

the buses, the grey world.

As soon as you held my hand,

we entered

a colourful world of our own.

From where we stood

we could see the sky

which will stay there

forever.

Touch

The sharp sunlight on my skin

felt like velvet ribbons

when you held my hand.

And we walked the entire way

breathing in each other’s love.

It was so beautiful,

it is so beautiful,

it will forever be beautiful,

because when I close my eyes

I can go over our time again –

when you were looking at me

with the amount of love

I dared not hope to receive

in a million years.

But there I stood

cleansed from the inside it felt.

And I am sure of the fact

that the time meant and means

the greatest thing in the world to me.

My fatigue, my anxiety

was all gone

My heart beat faster –

I could feel your love

running in waves

through my body –

and I can feel it even now.